This One is For YOU!

Hey friend, this one is for you. In today’s Talks with Tab, I am sharing about putting yourself back on your own priority list. From daily reminders that “100% looks different” to letting go of the things that drain you; I get real about what it means to grow, grieve, and glow into the next chapter.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:00

Hey friends, it's your girl Tav with the Talks With Tav podcast. I am super excited to chat magic, motivation, and everything in between. Whether you're listening in your car, your headphones, your work laptop, or wherever you are, get ready and let's get to it.

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Music

SPEAKER_00: 0:23

Hey friend, I'm just popping in to say the best investment you can ever make is into you. I mean, the best investment you can ever make is into you. So when you think about what is in it for me, as you approach a situation, a class, a event, another degree, a certification, I don't know, at this point, going to the store, right? Anything that you are investing in, in your time and or financial resources and or your talents and expertise to identify how this aligns with you, how this is working to uplift you, how is this working to nurture you, how is this working to even stretch you, right? Think about it. Don't get too caught up in it because oftentimes we don't know what is really in it for us or what it's going to do for us until hindsight, so after it's over, how However, I want us to be, you know, us as in the peeps in the tab community, right? I want us to all be looking inward more. Why? Because we do a lot of looking out for other people. I am naturally connected to and most of the time people that naturally connect to me are doers, right? Your givers and your families and your organizations and your jobs and your businesses. you are, you're givers, right? You pour so much into others. You think about others. You put yourself last oftentimes. And all of that is go right. Okay. You are an amazing human. If you know me in real life, if you know me in internet life, if you know about me, but you're really trying to get your feel, it's pretty obvious that I'm a people's people, right? I'm a people's people. I'm a people's person. And I love my people. I love my community. I love my students. I love the business owners that I get to support. I love the people that choose to follow me and my journey. I am very aligned with a lot of civic and philanthropic organizations. I thrive in serving and showing up for people. But the reason that I am able to do it and do it at a level of excellence to the best of my ability is because I look inward. I identify what's up with tab what's going on with tab how can I make tab better how can I strengthen tab with the how can tab tab with the tab whoever get some rest to be able to continue to show up for people to show up in spaces in the best way that I can to be able to give my hundred for the day right I am not looking at how can I give my hundred for the month I'm not looking at how can I get my hundred for the year I'm looking at how can I give my hundred for the day even as a Very big picture thinker. I try to take things day by day because what I have learned, especially in this past season of my life, is that every day my 100 doesn't look the same, but it is okay because my heart posture never withers. My heart posture stays the same. I always have the best intentions, but that doesn't mean that every day is going to look the same as the day before. So I challenge you as we catapult what it feels like, with the year just and I feel like we say this every year but it just seems to start going faster and faster and faster but as we are catapulting into the last few months of 2025 if you're watching this in real time it is around the end of August and I want you to spend time looking inward right what are some things that you want to develop right what are some skills that you're like I wish I knew how to do that or I want to be better at that how can you you weave in time into your schedule to actually achieve that, right? How can you put some metrics to those inward goals? Additionally, what are some things that you know that you've been doing that no longer serve you and you want to work to get them off your plate? As doers, as givers, as people that are committed to the things that they do, it's often not an overnight process. I'll give a very real example. I was overcommitted as it relates to board service. And so I was saying, you know, there's a few that I'm about to roll off of, or there's an opportunity for me to be able to slide out at the end of a year or the end of a fiscal year. Let me assess how I can do that. But I'm not just going to say, you know, unless it's an unfortunate circumstance, right? I'm not just going to say one random Tuesday, hey, I got to get rid of this, right? So assess your calendar, assess your schedule, assess your commitments. And if there are things that no longer serve you and you need to take a step back or a step away do that do that in the way that resonates most with you and honor yourself sometimes it may be a time that's not convenient for others so you know trigger warning for those who need it but my mom died right and when my mom died I baby the spiral was spiraling okay and I didn't even know it because in a sense I kept going while also standing still while also crawling while also walking while also running there were so many things that overlap because for me another transparency moment work and doing things is my scapegoat so when I'm not doing my best that is typically my scapegoat scapegoat however losing my mother was a different type of hurt and so my normal quote-unquote scapegoat wasn't working for me continuing to work while it was somewhat of a distraction and a in a band-aid or whatever I still needed time, not only to grieve, but to identify, you know, who am I? Who am I becoming? What's happening? And really lean into the fact that it's a process. It's a journey. This is not an overnight. Oh, a week after the funeral, I'm going to pop up and be okay. Not that I thought that, but I think being in it hit different. That said, there were some things that I had to disassociate myself with that I didn't do it in the way that maybe I I would have done it pre grief. However, also pre death grief, I had pre death grief, right? I was a caregiver, I saw my mom's decline happening. And so that did something to me prior to that, I went through a horrible, very public breakup. So I was grieving not just the loss of that person in my life, but the way that that made me feel the future that I had already had in my head. So with I say all that to say, in those levels, of life changes, there was some decisions that I had to make that I made them in a way that wasn't as natural to me as I would have liked. However, reverting back to what I said earlier, I gave my 100 for that time. And if my 100 at that time was sending an email, even if it was five minutes before the meeting, sending the email saying I'm not going to make it, at least I sent it. Or if I didn't make it and I didn't send the email, at least trying to follow up when I called and say hey I'm sorry I didn't make it and honestly it really taught me to detach from how other people felt you don't have to go through all that to learn that because I'm telling you now and I want you to lean into it when you do something that is best for you allow yourself to detach from how the other person is going to receive it and just hope that they have the grace the understanding standing or whatever to be okay. And even if they don't, that's okay. It's okay. But I want you, my friend, to be okay with looking inward and doing what is best for you. And I am not at all approving for you to go run off on the plug and be just, I'm doing me. Do what's best for you. But okay, friend, remember, we're leaders here, right? I really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really want I want you to take the remainder of this year to lean inward. And if you've already been leaning inward, I want you to take the rest of this year to take assessment of how that has worked for you and how you plan to carry that into 2026. I have a secret. And if you've heard previous episodes, you've probably heard it before. If not, go back and listen. You're pretty good. But nine times out of nine times, nine times out of 10, a lot of times, right? People do not assume. achieve those new year's resolutions achieve the things on those goal boards or get things done because they do not take one self-assessment to make realistic goals even in being in the lulu i like for you to be the lulu have big dreams but also understand that sometimes those big dreams take big risk they also take time sometimes sometimes they happen quickly and it's not even quickly if you think about it because nine times out of ten something happened quick so Something happening quickly is a result of work you've been doing. It's a result of things you already knew. It's a result of you tapping into your toolkit, right? But when you don't lean in before setting goals, big, small, or in between, it is really hard for you to achieve those, right? For example, I have been saying for the longest what my weight goal was and what I wanted to do as it related to my body and my workout schedule and all of that. If I don't take into account my actual schedule and then merge the two, it's never going to work. I'm always going to fail because I am not taking an assessment. Maybe that's the same thing for you. Maybe it's that you want to add an extracurricular activity, but you just keep saying you're going to do it, but you're not putting a time towards it, right? Maybe it's people that you want to reconnect with or connect with for the first time, but you're not taking the first step. The examples can go on and on and on and on and on and on, but friend, challenging you. Look inward. If you've been looking inward, take assessment and identify how are you going to take this into the rest of the year, the new year, so much so that you just engrave it into your life. It becomes a practice. It becomes a ritual. It becomes a habit. And now it's a part of you, right? Because once you take the step and you keep taking the step and you keep making a conscious effort, it becomes a part of you. So this one, this one, my friend, this was for you. Let me know send me a dm send me an email if you got my number text me let me know how this helped you or if it helped you to think about something and until next time I'll catch you later Wasn't that good? You just completed another episode of the Toxic Tab Podcast. Anything that was referenced during the show, the resources can be found inside of the show notes. Additionally, if you would just like to keep the conversation going, feel free to find me on all the social channels. And until next time, I'll catch you later.